I really don’t. I used to think so many things in my life were predictable and sure. I don’t know if this is what it means to be growing up…getting older…more mature. Maybe these feelings mean none of those things are happening. My mind races during every waking hour; no, even in my sleep. I can’t turn off the thoughts that lead me simultaneously away from everything I once held true and toward everything I once thought false.
I want my mind to quiet. I want things to be as they once were. I want stability in my life and peace in my mind. I feel as though I may be doomed to live with neither, and perhaps it is a fate that I deserve. I don’t know. And here I sit writing one of these meandering, introspective posts, sounding like a stupid, silly, girl. Sounding like every other stupid, silly, girl.