I don’t know

I really don’t. I used to think so many things in my life were predictable and sure. I don’t know if this is what it means to be growing up…getting older…more mature. Maybe these feelings mean none of those things are happening. My mind races during every waking hour; no, even in my sleep. I can’t turn off the thoughts that lead me simultaneously away from everything I once held true and toward everything I once thought false.

I want my mind to quiet. I want things to be as they once were. I want stability in my life and peace in my mind. I feel as though I may be doomed to live with neither, and perhaps it is a fate that I deserve. I don’t know. And here I sit writing one of these meandering, introspective posts, sounding like a stupid, silly, girl. Sounding like every other stupid, silly, girl.

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One response to “I don’t know

  1. You sound like a college student. Especially a young one. 18 is a very confusing time. Don’t stress it, hold to what you know to be true and live accordingly.

    If the stuff in your mind is something that can be shared find someone, that is worth sharing it with, to share it with.

    In a sense you do sound like a typical kid, but I know you’re not just typical. And you aren’t stupid, it’s a confusing time.

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