I didn’t have sex while writing this post

Warning: I am going to say the word “sex” a lot in this blog. I’m not sure how my boyfriend and I manage to stay busy when we’re together since we aren’t always having sex. According to what people seem to expect of two 18-year-olds, we should have sex for no other reasons than boredom. Since both of us are committed to saving this act meant for husbands and wives for when we are actually husbands and wives (hopefully to each other ), we have to be extra creative when it comes to finding ways to pass the time.

Two Friday nights ago, we went to the movies and saw Inception–it was good!–and we didn’t go home and have sex. Instead, we went to Jack in the Box and had onion rings and milkshakes. Now, I obviously don’t know anything about sex but I don’t see it beating onion rings and milkshakes. The next day, we went to Seattle Center and rode the lame roller coaster. And we didn’t even have sex during the ride! And we probably could have, because did I mention that it’s a lame roller coaster? So what else do we do to have fun while keeping all of our clothes on? Hey, this is a list post!

1. Bring video games to life! A finger gun becomes a needler and Halo becomes a reality in the front yard. Lemons make good grenades.

2. Find a playground. Monkey bars! Just scare any stupid little kids off and play for hours. If you can synchronize swinging well enough, you can still carry on a good conversation.

3. Games. I prefer Apples to Apples, and living in the Pacific Northwest provides enough rainy days that playgrounds and Halo wars are not always practical.

4. The Zoo. The zoo is the cheapest day of entertainment that you can ever find. Penguins. Monkeys. Giraffes. What else do you want? Sometimes there is sex involved, but please give the hippopotami some privacy. Thank you dad for telling me that they were recently married in a quiet ceremony with an elephant presiding. About 12 years later, I will still take your word for it.

These are just a few of the things that Matt and I do instead of having sex. I know it sounds crazy, especially if you read a lot of blogs by people my age on a regular basis, but there are more of us like Matt and me than not. I promise.

Cardinal Bertone is right. Gays are responsible

Apparently gay activists are outraged over comments from Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone regarding homosexuality and the Church sexual abuse scandals. It doesn’t take much at all to get activists outraged about anything, given that manufacturing outrage is the raison d’être of anyone calling themselves an activist. But in this case, the outrage (as it usually is) is misplaced. There is nothing incorrect about what the Cardinal said:

“Many psychologists, many psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relationship between celibacy and pedophilia but many others have demonstrated, I was told recently, that there is a relationship between homosexuality and pedophilia.”

The vast majority of boys, approximately 86%, who are sexually abused are abused by men. That, by definition, makes the act not only an act of pedophilia, but an act of homosexuality. Given that the vast majority of victims of abuse in the Church are boys, and the perpetrators are all men, simple logic tells us that homosexuality is a driver behind the acts committed by the priests. The Cardinal stated there is a relationship between homosexuality and pedophilia. The facts back him up. In my opinion, there is no reason to think that people who choose that lifestyle are not more more likely to engage in other “deviant” behaviors. Perhaps gay activists should worry less about being outraged by people telling the truth and focus on helping address the problem?

But that will not get them any headlines on CNN.

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Sexual abuse in the Church – A Catholic’s response

This Lenten and Easter season has been a tough time to be a Catholic. While American dioceses seem to have mostly put the scandal of sexual abuse of children by priests behind them, the recent explosion of reports of abuse, particularly in Ireland and Germany — where the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI was formerly a Bishop — has brought to matter back to the headlines of the American media.

In particular, an article in the New York Times claimed that the Holy Father knew of abuse in a Wisconsin school for deaf children and allowed the offending priest to continue his work. The article was an implication that the Pope, then Cardinal Ratzinger and in charge of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith — “CDF’, which is the Vatican office responsible for not only orthodoxy but ecclesiastic discipline — contributed to abuse by not acting and is morally culpable.

The media coverage has been relentless, and the commentary has often been vicious. Even the occasion of the Holy Father’s Easter homily and Urbi et Orbi (“To the City and to the World”) address have been used as an occasion to blast Benedict XVI for not addressing the scandal in his remarks.

I could dedicate a lengthy post to where the media, the New York Times and others have gotten even the simplest facts wrong in their coverage. Many have done so already, far better than I can ever do. Unfortunately, any criticism of the reporting has been interpreted as a defense of the priests that perpetrated these abuses and of the Church leaders who often showed poor judgment in not acting quickly nor forcefully enough to remove the offenders from their positions and bring in civil authorities to enforce the law. Well-meaning Catholics do not seem able to attempt to point out the truth without being labeled as supporters of child rape.

So how do we respond? I have struggled with this, myself. Too often, in the last few weeks, I have resembled Peter wildly swinging a sword, hoping to take an ear of MSNBC or CNN along the way.

I need to sheath my sword. Catholics need to sheath our swords. Hostility will only worsen the problem. The world does not want to hear us even try to defend ourselves, or our Church, as defense implies justification. We don’t need a public relations firm, we need only rely on the greatest communicator and truth teller the world has ever known. We need to do what He tells us to do: tell our Church to come clean (it has been), not make excuses, and leave the hostility to those who have no stake in the matter.

The Church has encountered uproar and tumult in the past and always emerged better and stronger. To Catholics who question the Church today, I remind you of a great question from the Catholic apologist Tim Staples: “Why would you leave Peter because of Judas?” Why even would you leave Peter because of…Peter? The man who denied Jesus three times and was justly castigated by Paul for ignoring a basic teaching of the Lord is the same man entrusted with our Church.

The Church is, indeed, comprised of sinners. Every one of us. Instead of fighting against those who attack us for our sins, we need to refocus on the sins themselves. Non-Catholics generally disagree with how we read Matthew 16:18, but, to Catholics, do not forget what Jesus promised. Whatever we may think of the media coverage of today, it pales in comparison to the gates of Hell.

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Low expectations

I wasn’t ever going to do anything anyway. Sex outside of marriage, drugs, underage drinking; my parents always assumed that I wouldn’t do these things. The more that I read about sex education, drugs, drinking, reckless driving and all of the other risky behaviors that are supposed to mark my age group, the more that I realize that I was never cursed with low expectations.

Teenagers are going to have sex anyway, give them condoms and “knowledge”.

Teenagers are going to drink anyway, make the drinking age lower and serve them alcohol in your home so they don’t go out and drink.

Teenagers are going to do drugs anyway, make them legal and get the tax revenue.

Teenagers will act like self-destructive idiots anyway, so let them. Expect them to do so, and make it easier if possible. When did society decide that it hated us so much that it would write us off as a collective lost cause? I can’t quite identify the true nature or origin of these beliefs. In blogs and blog comments, it seems to be people who are only a little older than me who are most vehement in their condemnation. I can’t help but think they were having sex in a car at 16 while driving drunk and smoking marijuana. All at the same time. Because of this, and in order to justify their behavior, they wish to believe that all other teens do the same.

I am no different. Look, they are all idiots too. Teen girls are all sluts. After all, I was one, and I was normal.

Dum excusare credis, accusas.

Your low expectations are destroying us. Be it Generation Y or Z, we are capable of so much more than you believe. You need only ask, yet you choose to dismiss.

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